Chapter 418 Angel By The Wings
[HAWI]
"I needed my mother and you didn't eleven choose me, so no, mother, no!" Hawi insisted as she stared at the woman before her.
She couldn't do this again. She couldn't endure this another time. She had been doing so well and she refused to let the woman who had died and abandoned her ruin all of that.
"It was for your own good," Eniola said as she gave her hand to Hawi. She owns it was something that she didn't do but maybe she was also a mother who had seen her daughter suffer through the worst of the worst.
"Why are you here mother? Why now?" Hawi asked ignoring her mother's hand as she got up. She didn't even wipe her tears.
She knew that it would be a while if Ruru and Malika came over to check on her. The stairs were long and they didn't have their powers. Frankly, Hawi wasn't in the mood to interact with anyone. So, she ran.
"Careful, you'll hurt yourself," Luna Eniola wanted and Hawi ignored her. This time, she ran up the stairs that were long and heavy. She had stayed down for a long time and she needed to catch up. Even that didn't make her state any easier.
She was in pain, a lot of it and it wasn't about to go away soon. Maybe if she ran fast enough, maybe her mother would leave her bed and she wouldn't have to deal with the horrors of a past she had done her best to forget.
She would have to embrace everything that was coming., Maybe, just maybe then, she would be able to make things right for herself, right?
"Hawi!!" Ruru called out and Hawi sighed. It would be a little hard to explain this to them.
"Don't worry about me, my beautiful. I'm using Jer's image as motivation to pass you. If I pass you, then you know there won't be that the minutes of rest, rough?" Hawi shouted, even though her heart was shattering.
She knew Rukiya Greyson was already suspicious of her.
Ruru was intelligent enough to see through Hawi and this was the second time that she was worrying for Hawi. Maybe her sanity was playing games with her and even if that was the case, what were the chances that it would all work out?
"Oh yeah? Thinking about what?" Ruru asked, even though she had heard it clearly.
"Just his stupid face when he betrayed Mother," Hawi shouted and the environment went still. There was sudden silence one that Hawi hadn't noticed but when she did, she realized what she had said and she was screwed.
Hawi hated Jeremiah Warner.
She despised the guy so much that everyone knew it. There was no way that she would ever be able to think about Jer.
The only thing she wanted to see was for everything around Jer to disappear and right now, Jer had the Russels beside him something that got Hawi pissed and in a terrible mood. There was just no way that it was a justification.
"Kidding! Come along, love, let's get to two thousand steps?" Hawi asked when she ran past Ruru, ignoring her mate and her protector when they were staring at her surprise.
They knew something was wrong, because Hawi was pressing on, little or hard. It was like she was running through something that was haunting her. She was trying to beat the reality she was somewhat trapped in.
"Right, coming after you!" Ruru responded as she and Malika watched Hawi keep up her intense pace. A part of them wanted to know what was wearing her, but they knew they wouldn't ever be able to get an answer out of her.
She had learned the art of ignoring some questions and right now, they would simply be talking to a wall. So defeatedly they kept their pace to the temple. Maybe if they got there Hawi would be able to make things a little better, right?n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
Maybe the world wouldn't be such a shitty place for them and maybe, just maybe, they would know how to make thighs right for Hawi.
"Shit, that was so close," Hawi said when she got to the two thousandth step.
"You still need to come clean to them," Luna Eniola said and Hawi could have sworn all the patience in her left. This wasn't what she had to endure all those hurdles to be bright back into.
"Fucking go away, alright? Leave me the fuck alone. You did what you had to do, now leave," Hawi insisted and her mother chuckled sadly. So much was going on with her fighter that it was almost impossible to understand what to do for her.
Your adventure continues at empire
"You're the one who refuses to let me go, Hawi. I wanted to leave, but your subconscious is holding onto me. You know what that means and you refuse to face that reality.
"All of this will be worthless if you don't find a solution soon enough," Luna Eniola warned. Hawi stared at her mother for the umpteenth time, trying to figure out why the fuck it had to be her mother that she saw.
Granted, she had missed the woman more than life would ever imagine, but her mother was starting to annoy the shit out of her. She just wanted to get this done and over with but then she wasn't even able to do that in peace.
"Wow. You don't even sugarcoat, huh? I guess being dead gives you the right to be an asshole. Thanks, mother," Hawi sighed as she looked at the path she had followed up here.
It was too long, and too far.
It would take Ruru and Malika a few days to get to her, perhaps that was enough for her to have an honest conversation with her mother right?
But how would the conversation be when the woman was just a figment of her damned imagination even to this point then?
"You know that is not what I mean. You need to let me go, Hawi. Unless you want your friends to start worrying about you, again," Luna Eniola said and Hawi sharply turned to look at her mother.
She was okay with everything but what her mother had just mentioned was the final nail on the reminder that this woman was just a piece of her subconscious. She wasn't real, but Hawi wished so badly that she could be real.
She missed her mother so much it was ruining her. She was losing so much in the process and the wasn't even someone she could have an honest conversation with.
"I want to… But if I let you go, I'll never see you again, Mother. I can't get through this on my own. If I tell them the truth… they will be disappointed in me again, mother. They will worry for me, and I can't go back there again.
"I can't be the center of attention again, Mother. I can't be the one with problems that everyone comes together to fix. I am not the only one with a broken heart in the entire realm, and yet my broken heart always finds a way to get the attention of everyone.
"I can't do that again. I can't be the weakling that begs for scraps of attention through her pain," Hawi whispered as she played with her fingers.