Chapter 136: Florida Man Forces Local Man to Date Goblin Woman as Modern Women Shun Men with Under 6 Figures Income
*DING*
<Nameless Farmer has offered 100 spirit potatoes as a tribute.>
<Nameless Farmer has prayed to you. He wishes that you could continue watching over him and protecting him from harm.>
<Because of the dedicated prayer, your lifespan has increased by one year.>
<Nameless Farmer has prayed to you. He wishes that you could bestow him a young maiden to be his wife.>
<Nameless Farmer has prayed to you. He has changed his mind. Instead of a young maiden, he wishes for a big-breasted, sexually aggressive woman who would, with enthusiasm and without hesitation, empty his balls every night and day.>
<Because of the fervent and honest prayer, your lifespan has increased by one year.>
Felix sat in the battery room, exhaling smoke as he watched the farmer sim on his system screen. He raised an eyebrow at the nameless farmer's increasingly bold requests. The guy had gone from asking for divine protection to... well, something much more personal.
"Really, dude?" Felix muttered to himself, flicking ash from his cigarette. "Some wishes are just way out of line, but that's understandable. When I went to church back home, I used to pray to Jesus and asked him a similar wish. Oh, wait. He probably granted me that wish already. KEK."
Felix inwardly laughed leaned on the wall in the empty battery room, contemplating the strange progression of the farmer's desires. It was the classic case of a man getting too comfortable.
As life became easier, the mind wandered into all kinds of indulgences. Wealth, power, entertainment, companionship—everyone had their own version of happiness. But the farmer had gone straight to the most primal request of them all.
Felix's lips curled into a smirk. "Well, it's not the worst request compared to mine when I was in puberty. At least, you never wish for the local wildlife to transform into bombshell sexy monster girls… Well, shit. My wish has been granted, hasn't it? I'm sorry, Jesus. I'm sorry, my ancestor.
I was immature!"
While mumbling and laughing to himself, Felix opened the game's command menu, pondering how or if he should fulfill the farmer's rather unique prayer.
On the side of the screen, four icons blinked: Build, Population, Policy, and Miracle.
The *Build* option was straightforward—it allowed Felix to design structures for the farmer to construct. He could draw blueprints himself, letting the farmer gather materials and do the labor. Or, if he felt lazy, Felix could dip into his lifespan reserves to purchase pre-made blueprints and resources from the Florida Man Store.
The *Population* tab was where things got interesting. At present, the nameless farmer was the only person occupying Felix's farm world. From this menu, Felix could recruit, summon, or even expel individuals from his domain. Theoretically, he could create a woman just for the farmer, but it wasn't like he could craft the perfect match out of thin air... could he?
He tapped over to *Policy,* where the current setting was *Clear Land.* This instructed the farmer to cut down trees, clear brush, and gather resources. There was also a *Domestic Expansion* option that Felix hadn't activated yet, but it seemed more relevant for growing a village or expanding the farmstead. Right now, that didn't seem like the solution to the farmer's pressing need.
Finally, Felix checked the *Miracle* tab. It displayed a gradually filling energy bar—Miracle Power or MP—which accumulated every time the farmer offered tributes or heartfelt prayers.
Right now, Felix had enough MP to perform a minor miracle, but he only had one ability unlocked: Weather Manipulation. It would take 10 MP to activate. And while it might make the farmer's crops flourish, it wouldn't exactly solve the farmer's more personal problem.
Felix sat back, staring at the various options on his screen. The nameless farmer had been a loyal servant, offering up spirit potatoes and praying with fervor. But Felix couldn't shake the feeling that fulfilling this latest request might set a dangerous precedent. After all, indulging in every desire could lead to trouble.
But as usual, Felix's curiosity got the better of him. His reckless side whispered that a little chaos might be fun. With a smirk, he pressed the *Population* button and navigated to the *Summon* option.
Immediately, a new window materialized over the game screen, showing a massive list of summonable individuals.
Felix's eyes widened as he scrolled through the options. The screen filled with portraits of beings from every imaginable race and background. Humans, elves, orcs, goblins, beast-folk, vampires, zombies, druids—the list went on and on. A hundred portraits at a time filled the screen, and a glance at the page count revealed over ten billion pages of possible candidates.
"Well, shit."
Felix wasn't about to spend his time sifting through a trillion game characters just to find a suitable match for the farmer's rather specific desires. That would take forever.
His gaze shifted to the left side of the screen, where a series of filter checkboxes waited. At least the developers of his system had the foresight to give him that. He quickly clicked *Human Female*, cutting the list down to a more manageable four billion candidates.
"Progress," Felix sarcastically laughed while he rubbed his temple.
Next, he added an age range between 18 to 25 and ticked the *Single* option. The numbers dropped further, though there were still a few million candidates staring back at him from the screen.
"Great. Only a few million to go through now… A FEW MILLIONS!" Felix grumbled.
Going through even that many portraits felt like an impossible task. He didn't have the patience to play matchmaker for his farmer. Frankly, he didn't care enough to make an informed decision.
In true Felix fashion, he decided to leave things to chance.
He scrolled randomly through the pages and stopped on a portrait of a blonde woman. Her face was pretty enough. Clicking on her portrait, the detailed stats of the population candidate popped up on the screen.
…
Name: Unnamed
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Last Career: OnlyF*n Model
Talent: None
Life Goal: Marry a wealthy and handsome 6'6" Black man with an annual income exceeding six figures. Then, divorce him to take his assets and become an independent woman who needs no man.
…
Felix stared at the screen, frozen in place after reading the woman's life goal. He blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes, and read it again just to be sure. The audacity, the sheer madness of it—it hit way too close to home.
"Is this bitch from my world or something? Goddamn." Felix muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.
He quickly slammed the portrait shut and took a deep, calming drag from his cigarette. There was no way he was sending *that* kind of woman to the poor, unsuspecting farmer. The guy had asked for a wife, not a catastrophe in human form. Felix knew better than to unleash someone like her onto a man who just wanted some simple companionship.
If the farmer got saddled with this woman, he might lose his mind entirely.
"Yeah, too risky," Felix muttered to himself. He exhaled a cloud of smoke and reopened the filter menu.
This time, he decided to adjust the settings for a safer choice—someone who wouldn't set the farmer's entire life on fire.
He scrolled through the options and settled on a filter for 'Traditional' values. At least with that, he figured the woman would be grounded in some level of sanity.
Felix spent the next hour tweaking and refining the search. He played around with cultural backgrounds, skill sets, personality traits—anything that might give the farmer a fighting chance at happiness without plunging his life in chaos.
After a long process of trial and error, Felix finally felt like he had a reasonable shortlist. Filtering out wild cards, rebels, and those with overly complicated ambitions, he had managed to narrow the pool down from millions to just 300,000 women.
Still, that was too many. He refined the search further by prioritizing women with practical skills and family-oriented values, the kind who could thrive in the farmer's rural lifestyle.
After fixing age and experience filters, he was left with a few thousand candidates. It was still a lot, but the list looked promising now. Felix sighed in relief, his cigarette nearly burnt to the filter, but at least he had what he needed.
"Finding a unicorn in this game world is tougher than I thought," Felix wryly smiled.
As much as he was looking for someone to match the farmer's wish, Felix was also curious about what kind of woman he could bring into his world. After all, this wasn't just about satisfying one prayer—it was about playing god in his own small way.
In the end, Felix's gaze landed on an unexpected choice: a goblin girl.
…
Name: Unnamed
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Race: Hob Goblin
Last Career: Hunter
Talent: Hunting, Tracking, High Endurance, Hard-Working, Nurturing
Life Goal: Get a husband that is not a useless goblin
…
Felix giggled, unable to contain his laughter.
Although the candidate was a hob goblin, she looked like a human with green skin. Her short hair, sharp eyes, pretty face, and curvy healthy body gave off a charm of a tomboy athlete lady. Even Felix couldn't help but smacking his lips in envy.
"Alright, let's go with this one," Felix said, satisfied with his choice. He clicked the summon button and leaned back, watching as the system went to work.
The screen flickered as the overlay window closed automatically. A magic circle appeared on the farm, and a naked, pixelated hobgoblin girl materialized.
The farmer shrieked in terror, raising his shovel defensively. Meanwhile, the goblin girl looked around, bewildered, until her gaze shifted upward, locking onto Felix through the screen.
As if she could sense his presence, she trembled and immediately groveled, pressing her forehead to the soil in submission.
*DING*
<Nameless Goblin fears you.>
Felix chuckled, relieved that the goblin knew her place.
"I hope you're coachable, goblin girl," he muttered.
Turning his attention to the inventory, Felix selected a pen and paper, scribbling a short note. He sent it to the farmer along with the daily water supply.
The message was simple.
[That's your wife. It's your job to tame her. Good luck.]
He also included a note for the goblin.
[I've brought you here since you dislike your fellow goblins. A husband you seek, and a non-goblin husband you now have.]
With his part done, Felix leaned back, ready to watch the chaos unfold. He wondered if they'd even understand his messages.