Chapter 186: Understanding You
The sleepiness in Vyan's hazy mind vanished as soon as Iyana's words registered.
He pulled back slightly and gazed up at her. "I think I know what you really mean, but sure—I am going with yes." His eyes twinkled with mischief, while his arms that were still hanging around her waist dropped a little lower, grazing against her hips; it made a shiver run down her back. "Yes to both possible meanings your question could be interpreted as."
She stared at him, jawdropped, for a few seconds. Until his shameless response sunk in and heat rushed to her cheeks. As she rushed to cover her embarrassed face with her hands, he missed the warmth of her fingers coursing through his hair.
"I—I only meant it like, you know, you feel comfortable sleeping next to me," she emphasized, hating how he, of all people, had the ability to make her tongue-tied. "You were even able to fall asleep without the lavender incense, so I just—"
"I know," came his velvety response mixed with a seductive undertone, which made her peek through the gaps of her fingers, only to find him sporting a smooth, smug expression on his face.
Indignation flared in her chest because it was obvious that he was teasing her. Normally, it was her who did that. On top of that, she was dancing right into his palms, giving him the exact reactions he was hoping for.
Nuh-uh, that's not happening.
Her hands dropped from her face, landing on his shoulders, ready to tease him back. "Well—" But she paused, noticing that his eyes had suddenly dimmed, like he remembered something sad. "What's wrong?" she asked softly.
"I…" he started speaking, looking into her eyes, but then, he averted his gaze. Looking down, he clicked his tongue, sounding conflicted.
To help him relax, she tenderly rubbed her palm over his nape, circling her thumb behind his ear. She stayed quiet as the tension slowly left his body and he took his time to organize his thoughts.
After a minute or two, he finally looked up again. "Iyana, do you remember that morning? You came to see me at the break of dawn?" She nodded."How you said that you would do anything to help me out? Without any questions asked?
"Yes," she responded with no reluctance. "Do you need help to bury someone?"
Despite his earlier seriousness, he let out a short laugh. "No… no." He shook his head, chuckling. "I just wanted to say that, I might need a little help from you, but I don't want to keep you in the dark as to why I did it. So, would you be up to lending me an ear about it?"
She smiled and leaned down to kiss the crown of his head. "Do you even have to ask about it?"
"Well, if you are going to be that supportive, I might as well just come right out and admit that it was me who made that explosion at the imperial palace."
Iyana's heart dropped for a second, her head suddenly swirling with a thousand questions. When he said he needed help, this was the last thing she was expecting him to ask. Nevertheless, she maintained her composure and mumbled a steady, "Okay," urging him to go on.
"I know, I know. It sounds bad," he let out quickly, "but trust me, it's not that bad. Just hear me out."
And true to his words, as she heard him out, the reason behind his action started to make sense. At least, one of his actions—the explosion, that is.
He didn't say anything about the whole Princess Maria thing, and she couldn't bring herself to ask. Because Vyan was clearly rattled by his brother's condition at the moment.
"Sixteen years of solitary confinement… wow," Iyana muttered. "I never thought the emperor was capable of going to such lengths."
Vyan smiled tightly, nodding. "Well, considering he wasn't above framing my parents as national traitors just because he was jealous, treating my brother as a mana supply machine is not too far-fetched for him."
Seeing the look on his face, she let out a sympathetic sigh and kneeled down in front of him. She gently took his hands in hers, asking, "Is that why you hide your own powers from most people?"
He nodded once again. "I can't risk being an open threat to the emperor, now can I?"
"I get it." She caressed his hands, hoping to comfort him. She felt slightly relieved that even though Vyan planned the explosion, he didn't harm anyone unnecessarily. Even Raith was only kept as a captive in his basement, and that too was only for what Vyan claimed as temporary. "So, the only help you need from me is to keep pretending this explosion was an assassination attempt on the emperor?"
"Yes, I can't let him find out that all of this was to save my brother."
"I understand," she responded. "Anyway, how is he? Your brother, I mean?"
His glance swept over the books spread out on the table, and that was enough for Iyana to understand. She squeezed his hands, urging him to look back at her.
"I know you can't help it, but try not to worry too much, okay? The situation might seem bleak right now, but he will be better eventually. After all, he has got such a wonderful, caring younger brother who has his back no matter what," she said softly, smiling.
"But I…" His shoulders slumped. "I don't know what to do."
"And that's fine," she insisted. "You are trying to know. You are reading so many books to help yourself understand his mental condition better, and I know you are going to go to the end of the world to find a proper, professional help for him.
You see, Vyan," she squeezed his hands further, "that's one of the things I love-hate about you—the way you go to extreme lengths for the people you love… to the point that you are destroying yourself."
Vyan just stared at her in awe and a little bit embarrassed at how well she knew him. Goddess Hecate forbid if she ever knew about the fact he sacrificed ten years of his life to save her. If she came to know, that was most likely going to be his last day on this planet.
"Anyway," she cleared her throat and continued, "what I meant to say is, just don't stress too much, okay? It's not good for your health. It's alright to take it slow and help your brother get better little by little. Mental health is sensitive; it's not something that can be fixed in a jiffy with potions, healing water, or magic. You have to give your brother time.
In fact, the harsh truth is that it might take years for him to recover, considering how much he has been through. Throughout that time, all you can do is try and not blame yourself for not trying hard enough. Because…"
She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and carried on, "Because you are already trying hard enough, Vyan. I am sure it's not easy for you to see the person, who has always been a pillar of strength and support to you, like this."
Vyan smiled faintly and nodded his head, letting her words reach his heart and settle down there. "Thank you…" his voice caught in his throat, "thank you for, I don't know, understanding me so well?" He let out an awkward, nasally chuckle.
She brought his hands to her mouth, placing kisses on his knuckles. "If you let me, I will always do my best to understand you," she whispered, laced with the hint of all the other things he hid from her. "Because I truly cherish you, and I—" She peeked up to look into his eyes. "I always want you to be happy."
Vyan rose from his seat and gracefully pushed back his chair, lowering himself to his knees until his gaze aligned perfectly with hers.
A soft, affectionate smile curved his lips as he reached out, his fingers brushing against her cheek with a tenderness that spoke volumes of his feelings. He caressed her skin slowly, as if savoring the moment before he leaned in closer.
She closed her eyes, surrendering to the gentle promise of his touch, and welcomed the delicate press of his lips against hers. It sent a fluttering warmth coursing through her. A tender wave of heat spread like wildfire, igniting every nerve with a soft, electric tingle.
The kiss was fleeting—like the tender caress of a spring breeze—but sweet as a drop of honey melting on the lips, leaving behind a lingering trace of warmth that stayed with her, long after the moment had passed.
"I am sorry," he whispered softly as he pulled back, his breath warm against her skin. "I haven't been able to give you much time these past few days."
"It's alright," she replied, her voice gentle and understanding. "We all have times like that when life gets a little too busy."
He smiled and rose to his feet, taking her hand and bringing her up with him. "So, what's new with you? You seemed a bit distant when you first arrived."
She blinked, surprised by his perceptiveness. She had thought she had masked her worries well—especially given his own groggy state earlier. Yet, somehow, he had still sensed her tension.
Gathering herself, she let a confident smile bloom on her lips. "No, it's alright now. I feel better."
He had already addressed the immediate cause of her unease, and that was enough to soothe her for now. She wanted to believe that, in time, he would open up about the other things that lingered between them—if only she allowed him the space he needed. All she had to do was be patient and hold on to her faith in him.