Chapter 108
In the most awkward silence, they waited endlessly for Esmuer and Ragnis, but they showed no signs of coming, even though it seemed like a lot of time had passed, perhaps because things were complicated in their own way.
Thanks to that, I just kept looking at Asilier’s eyes while looking at the pouring rain with a feeling no different from sitting on a cushion of needles.
Asilie was the first to break the long silence.
“So, which girl are you interested in?”
The words seem calm, but I have no choice but to doubt everything because I have already realized that my own senses may be at a desperate level. Most of all, since the chilly atmosphere I felt earlier was real, I couldn’t help but be very nervous, even though I wasn’t going to lie or make excuses.
“That, sister? It’s true that I couldn’t reject someone who liked me. I still have a grand goal in life, right?”
“So you’re saying that no matter what approach those girls take, they’re not thinking right now?”
what? I think I feel déjà vu in this situation where I am deprived of my words in advance?
“Yeah… that’s right. That’s my position.”
“Should I take Eldy’s position as saying that the ladies are already acting independently of your position?”
“Uh…that’s right…”
“And seeing that you didn’t refute me when I asked ‘which lady’ are you interested in, you mean not only Princess Esmuye but also Ragnis?”
I was at a loss for words for a moment.
I never imagined that I would be subjected to a guiding interrogation like this!
“Huh…”
Ascilie, who accepted my silence as an affirmation, began to ponder with her eyes down for a moment in the calm expression and atmosphere.
I didn’t know that the long-awaited reunion would become entangled in such an unintended affair. It’s been a while since I’ve even passed the juncture of death, so the temperature difference is too big.
But more than anything else, it’s so unsettling and difficult that it makes Asilier think and sink.
And I could clearly see that it was not simply a matter of being a guardian and worrying my family, but that I was afraid that this would lead to a situation where Asilie would be disappointed or misunderstood me.
It felt like I finally realized it after forgetting for so long that it was the desire to always look good without disappointing the person I liked, but now I had no choice but to wait for Asillie to speak first.
“Eldy’s moving toward danger… Yes. It’s difficult, but it’s unavoidable now. I can understand it. I think I was able to be sure of that this time.”
Assilie said as if she had noticed my wish.
“And now I know for sure that I don’t want to continue to be by Eldy’s side as a guardian.”
At those words, even looking back on my life so far, my heart started beating at an unprecedented level.
Looking straight into my eyes, Asilie quietly held my hand and continued talking. There was no trembling. It seemed that she was determined to convey her feelings calmly in an infinitely calm state.
“I don’t know if you think the elf who has lived for 120 years is the main one, but I love Eldy.”
Even though he looks a little older, he is only a 15-year-old after all, so where did he feel the love? In my opinion, even if I constantly tried to look as mature as possible in front of her without paying attention to her age, in the end, I thought it wouldn’t have been so from the point of view of acceptance.
I only thought that the day when I, who had only a high mental age due to the memories of my previous life, would be accepted by her as an adult on an equal footing was far off. So I couldn’t help but ask.
“Don’t you think I… am just a child?”
“If you have to put it into perspective, most humans aren’t children. Should I say it’s a characteristic of the Jangsaeng species… Age doesn’t really mean much. In the end, it’s greatly influenced by the emotional connection with the other person.”
Asilie, who was talking while looking at my hand, smiled quietly.
“Originally, I wanted to speak confidently when Eldy returned after achieving his goal. I believed that Eldy would be able to do it. I don’t believe it now… I was scared when I saw Eldy injured. I couldn’t think of anything because I thought that Eldi might disappear without me being able to convey it without being told. Even knowing that the same human children have feelings for Eldi. Hmm, hmm. Hmm… Jealousy it happened.”
So I overreacted a bit at first. I couldn’t say that it wasn’t just an overreaction, it was frightening.
“In the past, when I saw my friends being swung around by things like this, I thought they were stupid, but it was completely different now that I experienced it. I couldn’t stand it because I was impatient. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know what the heck I was sorry for, so I just held Asillie’s hand tightly.
I was so embarrassed that the words didn’t come out easily, but I finally managed to say it because I thought I had to say this.
“I love Asillie too.”
“As a family?”
“…You know it’s not.”
What I felt along with the pounding was a deep sense of relief.
In addition to the conviction that it does not have to end in a quasi-family relationship, the affection I felt during the time I spent with Asillie was unintentionally rewarded, as if facing an unexpected barrage of gifts, unable to find anything to say and feeling the warmth of our clasped hands while sitting down. Asilie woke up and hugged me.
“Come to think of it, I must have been thinking of Eldi like a hero without even knowing it.”
“Warrior?”
“Yes. A hero who learns, grows, and endures hardships on his own, and eventually achieves everything on his own and saves the world. In fact, other than saving the world, it seemed that he was doing something similar.”
Looking back, it seems like it was just a struggle to survive in this world, but Assilier must have interpreted it in a pretty good way.
“Even a hero can’t do everything by himself after all, but he seems to have overestimated Eldi because he’s so self-aware.”
“That’s completely out of hand…”
“Let’s not blur the atmosphere?”
“Yes.”
Now, it seems that just looking at his eyes wide open makes me feel scared. After looking at me with a disgruntled look for a while, Asilie smiled a little and stroked my hair.
“Even if we’re going on a trip together, I think it’s right to work diligently by the side to help Eldi achieve his goals.”
“…That’s right. Because we promised.”
How long has it been since you hugged properly and felt the warmth of a person? In fact, these days, there is not a lot of physical contact, but I can’t remember being held so comfortably since I was young.
“But what the hell did you do and even seduce the princess?”
While I was immersed in the warmth and relaxed to the fullest, Asilie’s question suddenly hit me.
“Just in case! Didn’t I just get released just because I went to the capital? I lived hard thinking about life after revenge? I deliberately took over the housekeeper’s work to avoid paying off my debt to Ogatorv as much as possible. It’s true. I lied while sending the letter. I didn’t write a single word.”
Thanks to that, I worked so hard that my average sleep time was less than 5 hours, so I wasn’t ashamed at all, but for some reason, I said it as if it were a poor excuse.
I don’t know what kind of mood he felt when he saw me like that, but Asilie tilted her head and smiled in a relaxed atmosphere.
“I know that. That’s why I didn’t stop Eldi.”
I was scared like a numb thief for no reason, and while I barely breathed a sigh of relief, I felt Asilie’s hand pat my head and hug me again, feeling a little stronger.
“For now, I’m satisfied with this. Now, should I chat with the cats?”
“to?”
“Don’t worry. I don’t mean to say anything bad.”
As soon as she said that, the door opened and Esmuer and Ragnis entered.
And Asilie spoke first in a calm tone, as if she knew she was coming.
“Can we properly greet each other now? Princess Esmuet.”
Esmuye looked at me for a moment, met eyes with Asillie, then nodded and tried to approach me with Ragnis.
“Eldmia. Are you feeling better?”
“Uh. A potion is also a potion, but I wonder if he gave me another treatment while I was sleeping, except for the drowsiness… are you okay?”
I tried to straighten my posture while talking casually, but Asilie’s hand wouldn’t loosen.
“sister…?”
“If it’s okay, let Eldy rest a bit, shall we talk for a while?”
“Uh…well, since you saved her, I’d like to hear the circumstances in person as well as a proper thanks…”
Seeing the unknown pressure being felt even though he was clearly smiling, he was very nervous and rolled his eyes. Isn’t Muët opening his mouth as if he was slightly pushed back from a fight?
“It would be better to share such a story while both of you are tired.
“Uh, uh…”
In an instant, Asilie, who was overwhelmed by the atmosphere, stood up from her seat and began to leave the room, confidently leading the way against the imperial princess.
In that short moment, Esmuye, who was shaking his head between me and Asillie, was dragged by Asillie’s hand even though he had a look of great concern, and it was Rag, who hadn’t said a word from the moment he entered the room. Nice was no different.
I was left alone in the room like that… I just gave up on thinking and lay down on the bed again.
Because that was the only choice I could make. it will work out somehow?